Mandatory Submission of Urine Samples (1 Viewer)

[SillySausage]

No one ever believes me when i say April 1 is my birthday
You people don't know how hard it can be when no one wishes you!

As a birthday present from the RSR team we will cover the postage cost of your sample.

 

[m4nu]

As a birthday present from the RSR team we will cover the postage cost of your sample.

eeeeeeeeeehm

 

[SillySausage]

eeeeeeeeeehm

After consulting the RSR admin team we deem a bribe equivalent to the cost of the postage is required before we cover the cost for you.

 

[Feanor]

Greetings valued @Admins @Moderators @Members of Revolution Sim Racing.

The Committee for Evaluation and Eradication of the Usage of Performance Enhancing Drugs in Virtual Motorsport (C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M.) has now processed all drug test samples given by the RSR-community and is now ready to deliver the final report.

The C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M. is shocked to find, that even in a community like Revolution Sim Racing, bound by the creed of fair and fun motorsport, Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs) are widespread and even necessary to rise in the internal ranking systems.
High ranking officials of RSR have been proven to drive under the influence of PEDs.

The C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M. has gained extensive autority from the RSR Administration Team to take all necessary actions to hunt the perpetrators and purge Revolution Sim Racing from the cancer that are PEDs.

Here are the results of the tests and the respective punishments:

1)
The test have shown a large number of drivers (including but not being limited to: Suomy, falcon2081, Puffpirat, t0daY, Blue Monkey, ProjectPD [GER], ramiboo, miagi'', Cluck, Fiskerton) being under the influence of large dosages of the "Skill" stimulant. This drug allows the user to shift the race results in his favor. These drivers are no longer to be considered regular RSR-members but as "aliens" instead! Their TS-badge shall be changed to a black skull to warn the general populace!

2)
The driver "t0daY" aka "Manu" has been found guilty of using large ammounts of "Admin-Power". His Admin-status will be revoked and from now on shall be known as "Benevolent Dictator"!

3)
A significant number of drivers have used a medication called "Joker-Lap". However, every punishment concerning this will be waived because these drivers were forced into consumption by other members under the influence of "Admin-Power"!

4)
A certain drivers infraction however can not be overlooked. "jonnotheone" repeatedly used "Admin-Line", a prescription medicine especially developed for Induction Tutors to catch up to the inductees at Watkins Glen. The sentence for this will be confinement between the white lines of every racetrack comming up in the future!

5)
"SBart_uk" has been caught abusing "Aero" to achieve "alien"-level performance. He will be banned from using any car containing "Downforce"!
The C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M. likes to issue a warning to all RSR-members: Increased "Aero" values will raise your "Grip" to dangerous levels and reduce your cardiac top speed.

6)
Similarly "FlyingKMan" was found to have large quatities of "AWD" in his system. He will be forced to take a mandatory pitstop for tires in every race with a car containing "AWD"
Furthermore he is guilty of excessive use of the "Laughter"-stimulant. This compund is known to be very contagious and causes distraction. Thus it is deemed to be a danger to driving safety. The "Benevolent Dictator" demands this to be rectified by forcing "FlyingKMan" to lower the sound quality of his microfone!

7)
Also concerning is the use of the still legal but highly addictive "VR" drug by "MelBonkers" and other drivers. To reduce the impact of this drug by increasing the pauses in between stints, it will be mandatory to hide their X-Box-Gamepads out of their arms reach.

8)
During the latest 2h Event at Bathurst several drivers have been found to be under the influence of "PRD". Although this is in no way an illegal or detrimental drug C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M. likes to point out, that the combined use of "PRD" and "RSR" will show the same side effects as the "Totally Awesome" PED.

9)
Very concerning substances have been found in the samples of the RSR-Member "Cluck". Large quantities of human hormones usually used to induce added growth in chickens. The Health Department has been alarmed and until further investigations "Cluck" and all products containing "Cluck" are considered unsuitable for human consumption.

10)
During the investigation a DNA-crosscheck uncovered the shocking actions of "Mikkel Schuhmaker". After failing induction by constantly bullying Tutor "FlyingKMan" he went on to illegaly participate in official RSR-Events under the guise of the highly revered RSR-Admin "falcon2081" This outrage can have only one resolution. The unconditional ban of "Mikkel Schuhmaker" from RSR!
The "Benevolent Dictator" wishes to express his apologies to "falcon2081" for not preventing this to happen and takes full responsibility. However he deems this to be an honest mistake which requires no punishment.

11)
Lastly the RSR-Member "Feanor" is found guilty of massively using "Utter Nonsense".
The "Benevolent Dictator" decrees his last post to be considered a joke and to be ridiculed publicly.

This concludes the C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M. report. We hope these results and the respective punishments will start a PEDs-free era at Revolution Sim Racing. We hope all perpetrators see the error in their ways and will contribute to a new, clean RSR.


Cordially
Cluck Norris
Head of Investigation C.F.E.E.U.P.E.D.V.M.

 

[Cluck]

It's a fair cop

 

[m4nu]

This made my fucking day @Feanor Brilliant, I am crying tears